On Sat, Apr 19, 2008 at 2:50 PM,

 Vadu Dore
<museumsalvadorrosillo@yahoo.com>

 wrote:

 hello friends;
 how are you!

 yesterday was
 the first hot day

winter is finally over
 and it was full moon

 i know for certain
 i am a werewolf

 ces't la vie
mon amis

ces't la vie.

 a bien tot!
sal

"PASTPRESENTFUTURE"

JUSTIFICATIONS ARE THE CRUTCH
TO AVOID RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR
ACTIONS.
JUSTIFICATIONS ALWAYS HARK
TO PAST EVENT
WHETHER IMAGINARY
OR REAL.
MOST MEMORIES ARE FRAGMENTS
REMNANTS OF PAST EXPERIENCES
THE OLDER THE FRAGMENT
THE MORE IMAGINARY THE FRAGMENT
AND THE MORE EMBELLISHING
THAT MUST BE CREATED AROUND
THOSE MEMORY FRAGMENTS
IN ORDER TO PROP THEM UP
AGAINST THE RELENTLESS
ALWAYS HERE PRESENT.
THE MORE EMBELLISHING
THAT IS DONE
THE MORE ENERGY
MENTAL
EMOTIONAL
PHYSICAL
THAT MUST BE INVESTED
CONTINUOUSLY INVESTED
IN ORDER FOR THE FRAGMENTS
TO RESEMBLE THE PERCEIVED MEMORIES
AND APPEAR WHOLE IN THE MIND
 OF THE ADDICTED NOSTALGICO.
ONE OF THE AFTER EFFECTS
YOU MIGHT CALL IT........
 COLLATERAL DAMAGE.
 THE CONTINUOUSLY PROPPED UP
SO CALLED MEMORIES
END UP
COMPLETELY TAKING OVER
THE DEEP CORE EXISTENCE
OF THE DAYDREAMER
BACKWARDS ORIENTED PERSONA.
IT IS A MENTAL ADDICTION
A REACTIONARY MOVE
TO THE IMPOSSIBLE TASK
OF KEEPING THE PAST ALIVE
SPECIALLY WHEN THAT MEMORY
IS PERCEIVED AS JUSTIFIED.
FOR THE JUSTIFICATION TO CONTINUE
FEEDING ENERGIES TO A RAGTAG MEMORY
CLOSES THE MENTAL CAGE
AROUND THE DAYDREAMER MIND
SECURELY BINDING HIM/HER
TO KEEP ON FEEDING THE SO CALL
MEMORIES.
THE OLDER THE MEMORIES
THE LESS REMNANTS SURVIVE.
IT IS A LOT LIKE THE LOT
OF HITCHCOCK'S MOVIE
 "PSYCHO"
WHERE THE CHARACTER
 UNABLE TO MOVE ON
AFTER HIS MOTHER'S DEAD
IS FORCED TO STUFF HER,
CONTINUOUSLY PRIM HER
IMITATE HER VOICE AND MANERISMS.
BASICALLY UNDER
SUCH PSYCHO PRESSURES,
EVENTUALLY BECOME
MOSTLY HIS MOTHER
WELL, NOT QUITE...
HE BECOMES A SCHIZOPHRENIC MOTHER
IN OTHER WORDS,
A NUT CASE,
 WHICH EVENTUALLY CRACKS
WHEN CORNERED BY REALITY,
(THE PEOPLE COMING TO THE MOTEL),
BEFORE THEIR ARRIVAL,
 HE WAS QUITE CAPABLE
OF MANAGING A MOTEL
YOU COULD EVEN SAY HE WAS
SUCCESSFUL......
A SMALL PILLAR OF SOCIETY.
BUT,
THAT WAS A UNSUSTAINABLE
MIRAGE PRESENT
WITH THE PAST TOTALLY
 TAKING OVER IN THE END.
RESULT....
 WHILE PHYSICALLY PRESENT
IN THE PRESENT...
EMOTIONALLY
MENTALLY
PSYCHICALLY
LIVING IN A IMAGINARY
 THE PAST.
THOSE WHOM
 THE GODS
WISH TO
 GET LOST
THEY FIRST
MAKE THEM CRAZY

@ museum salvador rosillo

04/11/2008

"STATEOFAFFAIRS"

I AM SURROUNDED
BY DOGS
 TRAITORS
DOUBLE CROSSERS
TRIPLE CROSSES
MASKED ON MASKED
PARASITES
HUNGRY
PANTING
EXCITED
SNOOPY DOGS
ABOUND
ALL AROUND
THEY FOLLOW
THEY HAUNT
THEY POP OUT OF THE
WOODWORK
EVEN THOUGH
THERE ISN'T ANY
WOODWORK AROUND...
THEY STILL POP UP!
IF YOU DO NOT MOVE
THEY WOULD URINATE
YOUR LEGS
BOUNDARIES
ARE THEIR OWN
MOMENTARY
SATISFACTIONS
NOTHING MORE
THEY IGNORE
ALL BASIC RULES
OF POLITE ENGAMENT
I SEE WHY
THE NEED FOR
HITMAN'S SERVICES
BY HOOK AND CROOK
THEY GET
THEY NEED
THEY WANT
THE GRASPS
THEY GROPE
AROUND AT ANYONE
AT ANYTHING
ANYWHERE
TRULY BARBARIANS
AT THE GATES
RULE NOW
AT LEAST HERE
IN THE LAND OF
THE FREE
MILK AND HONEY
THEY NEED
THEY WANT
THEY SEARCH
THEY SNOOP
THEY TAKE
AND TAKE
AND TAKE
AND TAKE
AND TAKE
ARE NEVER
EVER SATISFIED
ALWAYS JUSTIFIED
ALWAYS JUSTIFIED
ALWAYS JUSTIFIED
I CAN UNDERSTAND
HOW VIOLENCE
RETRIBUTIONS
COULD GET OUT
OF CONTROL
AND SPIRAL
INTO A FREE FOR ALL
ALL OF THESE
FLOTSAM
JETSAM
WASHOUTS
BEACH LITTER
I MUST PURGE
I MUST CLEANSE
I MUST WASH OUT
OF MY LIFE
 NOW!
THESE ENCUMBERING
DETRITUS
 I  SOON MUST
 GET RID OF
THEY ARE A CONSTANT
DRAIN IN THE
AFFAIRS OF STATE
ENDLESS WAR
HAS BEEN MY LOT
SINCE THE DAWN
OF TIMES
MY TIMES
I AM SPEAKING ABOUT
HOW ABOUT
YOUR TIMES?
ARE YOU A TAKER?
 A GIVER?
HAVE YOU THOUGHT
ABOUT THAT
IF YES
THEN WHAT
ARE YOU STANDING
STRAIGHT
OR SLOWLY BECOMING
A QUESTION MARK?

04/08/2008

SALVADOR ROSILLO@

"petty tyrant"

 

when she talks

and rants on

and on at the top

of her voice,

while riding

 the "a" train

from bed-sty to tribeca

and goes on to

 the crazy vociferous

 tirades about

who knows the most

minutia about recondite

areas of law procedures

while never herself have

gone to law school

to visit

i ask myself,

while trying to

become invisible inside

the crowded metal

box on wheels,

trying to disappear

from the steady

curious gazes

 of all the strap hangers

junk food train diners

panhandlers

rap dancers

 double sized commuters

and other denizens

of mass transit

in new york city,

which saint of so many

 legions of saints

could come

 to my aid ...

now?

mayve,

could someone  tell

 me?

what's going on?

meantime the pressure

the stress

the heat

the smells

the screams

are being ratched up

 several knotches

the larded ball

of screaming grease

passing for female

but with more testosterone

than an Andalucian

Bull in heat

goes on and on

 belittleing me

transforming her

 out of the closet

Dorian Grey persona

and contorted face

equipedwith glass bottle

bottom trifocals

occupying most of her face

leaving visible the lipstick

smeared humongous mouth

opening and closing

relishing her time

in the spotlight

minutes of fame

under the esat river

screaming on and on

non-stop

 her eyes are bulging out

of the sockets right above

the glasses upper rim

(i wonder how does

she does she intake air?),

it only seems to be

coming out

and out even

out of her ears

it seems  the are

fuming

in front of our

 captive choice audience

trapped at 70 miles an hour

in the tunnel crossing

to lower manhattan

and freedom,

for me that is.....

.....my freedom ...

from this petty monster

in full waildom........

many of the women

inside the train

seemed to be enjoying

the dress down

I am getting..

they see i am trapped

unable to counter

please,please......

what's going on?

when will i be

 fully grown?"

help!.............

a petty tyrant is

your best teacher!

Castaneda said...

Don juan had told him.

why is that?

Castaneda asked?

why  a petty tyrant

is a teacher at all?

Don Juan answered

because......

a petty tyrants

can throw you off center

and push you away

 from yourself

it will make your fisures

and cracks visible

it will make your

weakness apparent

to the degree

it throws you off

your center

of habits

is how much

how far

 you must comeback

adjust to return

 to your center

except that now

 you have hopefully

grown up

 in self knowledge

in patience

in endurance 

and like a reed

in the rushing storm

bend down

once the storm

 has gone

return

to your upright  position

 more flexible

more supple

centered

stronger

wiser.

 05/30/07

@ museumsalvador rosillo